Saturday May 17th 5:00 pm
I take a drag, shift into overdrive and head out west on Highway 3 blaring Montgomery Gentry on my speakers. The octane boost that I added to my gas kicks in and I’m gone. I’m tired and sunburned from helping Daniel move his sister. So I drank an Amp to keep me on my toes. As I cross the Hood Canal, birds are flying but they don’t look like it their just not in motion…their free. I see the Olympics in the background their still blanketed with snow. I arrive in Port Angeles at 6:30 and check in at the Port Side Inn. Rachel is in town from college break, I have not seen her in a year. I miss working with my old crew up here. She and David pick me up and we cruise the town. Sunday afternoon I woke up and went to the restaurant where I use to go and ordered a cheeseburger. I went to the gas station to buy some sun block but it was kind of overcast so their was really no point. Free and Easy by Dierks Bentley was playing, I couldn’t help it I accelerated top speed down 112. I finally arrived to the Elwha Valley where my old pad was at and drove up to the lake where I use to go.
I walked up the bank sat down and I talked to Him. I told him I surrender all and everything to him. That I didn’t care about finding work being over the road. That I thanked Him for letting me feel pain and that He took the pain away. That I was blind to his will and that I wasn’t listening. I believe that God closes doors, lets us feel pain, so we can get closer and be stronger in Him. Everything happens for a reason. Then He opens up doors to something special. And when you find that thing you are looking for, you grab it and hold on to it forever. These past 2 weeks have been total suck for me. I tried and applied to 7 truck companies to get out of Dodge because I couldn’t take the pain. I have been turned down left and right. I waited to long since I graduated and companies are no longer highering new people because the economy is going down they can’t afford it. A lot of companies are telling me that I need to go back to school. That’s another 4 weeks to 6 months plus 5 grand. I could find work for some companies but they treat you like crap. Maybe God wants me to stay here and take it like a man and deal with it. I realized this, God wants us to love and follow him and love one another. That’s it! I’m a moron sometimes. I have Jesus! I have a stable job that I like; I have a roof over my head, awesome friends. I have been getting more involved with my faith and Church. Sunday was one of the coolest days of my life. This is truly iron sharpening iron. I talked to my best friend of 13 years who led me to God my brother Micah. I last spoke to him in November he just dropped out of society. Micah wanted to be a cop, he was going to get married but his girlfriend left him again. He was down and started gambling. He putted her before God. He wasn’t doing his will. He moved back to California near San Diego. God brought him their. He went to all these churches to find a one to call home. He found one and he is living with the preacher and he is an intern their as a youth minister! He told me that he was a moron and just finally got the picture. He doesn’t have a career either. Him and I went threw the same stuff. We talked for an hour. He told me to read Matthew 6. I have read this thing over and over before. I read Matthew 6:25-34.
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I read passages from the Bible and I get the message but it sometimes doesn’t go with the flow that I’m seeking. Now that I just read this one it hits me in the face like a tire iron. Rewind, hold the phone, and slap your grandma. Why I’m I freaking out and down for! God takes care of me and you. I have everything I can ask for. Then I just read Matthew 7: 7-8
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. I pray that if it is his will that he find me work and if not great. I pray that I be a better worker for him. God has been opening doors for me I just don’t realize it. He right now is pointing me somewhere I can sense it. I just need patience I don’t have I really need help on it. When doors close it wasn’t his will I just need to face that and realize that.
I’m 24, 24. I have a whole life to live (God willing) I realized I’m a free bird baby! I have hardly any bills, no mortgage, no car payments, I’m not in debt. I wear shorts to work and listen to music all day. My next 20 years are going to be a blast! I adopted this I don’t care attitude. I’m going to try not to worry about my life. I surrender my soul to God on that lake and now I’m back and ready to start working for the Kingdom. I’m going to be a bum and follow Jesus.
Honor.
